Ghosts From the Past
by Moonsong
Summary: My first fic from the Seiryuu side- featuring Tomo. Let me know what you think!


Ghosts of the Past  
By Moonsong  
tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
  
WARNINGS: Mild Yaoi, Some Graphic Violence- please do not read if   
such things bother you.  
  
  
A bitter wind swept through the empty streets penetrating the   
threadbare blanket wrapped around my thin shoulders. It was just   
a little after midnight. All the shops had long since closed, the   
last bedtime candle blown out hours ago. Occasionally, a stray   
cat would slink among the shadows of the alley, or an owl would   
call out in the distance, but otherwise, I was alone. And though   
I was not a stranger to cold, I was shivering nonetheless. Again.  
  
I curled up into a ball, trying to preserve what little heat was   
left. The blanket did little to retain any warmth but its mere   
presence was a comfort in itself. It was, after all, the only   
thing of yours I had left. I remember those lovely nights... was   
it really all that long ago? When you and I would lie in each   
other's arms and the universe would be ours, even if it was only   
for a few moments?  
  
I remember your beautiful face... the way your golden hair would   
flop over your sculpted features; the brash smile that made you   
look both rakish and handsome the few times you graced me with   
it; but most of all, your azure eyes that pierced the soul. You   
were perhaps the only person who understood me, the only one who   
came close to showing me what love was.   
  
When I first met you, all I saw was a rival. Until you came, I   
had been the pet of the entire group. I was young, talented, and   
easily the most beautiful dancer they had to offer. Then you   
breezed in with your sunny smile and wind-kissed hair. You   
charmed them and I was cast aside; to become the raven glowering   
in the corner while you bathed them in your glowing light.  
  
Resentment was probably the least of what I felt for you at that   
time. After you took over, I felt restless... unwanted...   
unneeded. I used to wander up and down the catwalks above the   
stage between shows, hoping that one misstep would take me into   
oblivion. It was a foolish thing to do but I didn't care. There   
was no real reason to think I belonged in this world anyway.  
  
My childhood, if you want to call it that, was a bitter one. I   
remember dancing on the streets for a few paltry coins, which   
disappeared into a nearby tavern my master frequented. My world   
consisted of hungry days and terrifying nights, never knowing if   
one day my master would either die or leave me to fend for   
myself, forever wondering if such an event would be a blessing in   
disguise.   
  
Before that, I had no memories at all, not of my family, my   
parents, or my home. Many nights I spent staring at the stars and   
wondering about them, hunger knawing at my ribs, while waiting   
for my master to return with whatever scraps he scavenged from   
the tavern. And after a while, I just stopped caring. What did it   
matter anyway? They had abandoned me. Why should I care?  
  
All those years are now blurred and have been buried within the   
deepest recesses of my mind. I don't care to dwell on what   
happened to me during the darkest of nights, when no one was   
there to heed my screams. I never associated with anyone, never   
made a friend. I feared that once they had discovered my shame,   
they would only abandon me again.  
  
Then the time came when I was seized from the filthy hovel I had   
grown to call home, and thrust into that world of music and silks   
and dancing that brought us together. I didn't know what had   
happened, and still don't to this day. Perhaps my master had   
finally grown tired of me and had sold me, I was fourteen and   
already too old for his tastes after all. And in the beginning,   
it was like a dream come true.   
  
I was given a trailer to share with another boy, a closet full of   
beautiful silk robes, and a chest full of paints, feathers, and   
other notions used to decorate one's self. My new masters were   
kind, fed me well, and in return, I only had to dance and draw   
townspeople to see our shows. With my flowing black hair, and   
almost angelic features, I soon had villages swooning at my feet,   
begging for me to perform.  
  
The feeling was new at first and I didn't understand what was   
happening to me. I was no longer shivering myself to sleep every   
night, hiding my face in the blankets so that even the stars   
could not shine upon my shame. I awoke each day feeling more   
alive than I had ever felt in my entire life. I thought I had   
finally found a place where I belonged.  
  
Then, in the midst of my newfound happiness, you came. My former   
tent-mate left the troupe for another and you were assigned to   
me. You were my opposite, both in looks and temperament. You were   
light; I was shadow. You floated on silvered wings while I   
struggled through the murky blackness that was my past. Onstage,   
we were fire and ice, and together, we captivated the audience,   
seizing their very souls. We were the best.  
  
One moonless night, I woke shivering, from some nightmare brought   
about when I spotted my former master in the crowd. My body was   
chilled, yet sweat poured down my face, blurring my wide, fearful   
eyes. I tried to stop it, but the memories were like a wave   
washing over me, its icy power clutching my heart until I was   
unable to breathe. I cried out, lost in the horrors that seared   
through my mind like lightning, burning down the walls I had so   
carefully and painstakingly fashioned against them all these   
years.  
  
Gradually, I became aware of a pair of arms wrapped around me and   
a soothing voice murmuring in my ear. I tore away in panic. No   
one had held me like that... had touched me like that since...   
since... I couldn't bear to think about it. Then to my further   
shame, I broke down on the floor and cried. A lifetime of pain,   
anger, fear, and frustration came pouring out, staining my   
clothes, my sheets, and... your robe as you knelt next to me and   
held me as my world came crashing down.  
  
I avoided you for days after that, certain that you would somehow   
use this against me. After all, hadn't I been betrayed by   
everyone I had ever known? Why should you, a stranger, and my   
rival at that, be any different? But somehow... you were. You   
were patient. You bided your time. And the next time the memories   
threatened to wash me away, you grasped my hand and pulled me   
from the swirling waters. You held me... protected me... and I   
sought comfort in your embrace.  
  
When you told me of your past, I was amazed at how similar our   
paths had been. In you, I had found someone who understood, not   
only what I had gone through, but also how it had affected me.   
And when you cried, I was there for you.   
  
But happiness is such a fleeting thing and even the brightest   
star will eventually fall. After a few weeks of bliss, our camp   
was raided. First came the fire arrows, which drove us out of our   
tents. Then came the warriors on horseback. Some of us fought,   
some fled, most of both groups ending up on the unforgiving   
ground staining the thirsty soil with their blood.   
  
As I watched in horror, chaos surrounding us, you were on your   
feet urging me to flee. I couldn't move- couldn't speak...   
couldn't breathe. I was surrounded by fire, and not even your   
desperate pleas were enough to shake me from my daze. My vision   
shifted and wisps of shadows tugged at the corners of my eyes.   
Glimpses of people... three in fact- a man, a woman, and a young   
girl, not much older than myself. They were running from a   
house... burning... and screaming. The woman, upon catching sight   
of me, screamed at me to run... but it was too late. Something   
large and heavy swooped at my back and everything went black.  
  
And now it was happening again- the screams, the raiders, but   
most of all, the flames. That ever-present fire that hovered at   
the fringes of my life, waiting to destroy everything I had ever   
held dear.   
  
Rage boiled in my veins and I cried out to the heavens, my voice   
reverberating through the entire valley floor. My fists clenched   
and a blue light surrounded me, bathing me in its icy warmth. My   
eyes blazing, I turned to the first raider and focused all my   
power into his undefended mind. He shrieked in pain and fell to   
the ground in a quivering heap.  
  
Immediately, the light faded, leaving me staring at the dying man   
in shock. What had I done?   
  
A few moments passed and you screamed my name, finally shaking me   
out of my self-induced stupor. Your tear-streaked face, marred   
and disheveled by the falling ash, hovered over mine and I let   
you pull me to my feet.  
  
Hand-in-hand, we started running. Our robes gathered at our   
knees, we left the madness behind and sought refuge in the   
trees. Suddenly, your eyes lit up in fear as something behind us   
caught your eye. Before I could even turn, you hurled your body   
into mine, knocking me aside. I fell to the ground sharply, the   
impact knocking the breath from my lungs.   
  
When my vision finally cleared, I saw you, lying in a crumpled   
heap on the ground, the arrow that would have taken my life   
buried deep in your shoulder. With a cry, I hurried to your side,   
tears already forming in my eyes. I laid you flat on the ground,   
hoping against hope that I could still save you but your injury   
was too great. There was nothing I could do. Sobbing, I pulled   
you into my lap gently and buried my face in your matted hair.  
  
"Chuin,"  
  
The harsh whisper made me look up. You were barely breathing,   
blood flowing freely from your wound. Not wanting to cause you   
further pain, I held my breath and waited for you to continue.  
  
"That... light," you continued. "That symbol... you bear the mark   
of a Seiryuu seishi..."  
  
Your words puzzled me but I didn't want to interrupt.   
  
"Promise me... that you'll live on and be the best one of them   
all... for both of us..."  
  
I still had no idea what you were talking about but I had to   
reassure you. Tears flowing down my face, I nodded. "I promise,   
koi. For you, I will not fail them."  
  
Then you smiled. A beautiful, angelic smile that almost stopped   
my heart.  
  
"Wo ai ni, Chuin, zutto..."  
  
  
Hastily, I blinked back tears as your light faded away with your   
memory. Months have passed since that raid and still the wounds   
are as fresh as if it were yesterday. I had traveled through   
several towns, inquiring about the possible whereabouts of these   
"seishi" and had been directed to the palace.   
  
So now, here I am, in the capital city of Kotou, and still I   
don't know what to do. Surely I can't just walk up to the gates   
of the palace, declare myself a seishi, and expect them to open   
their doors to me. I shivered again and tried to pull the blanket   
around myself.  
  
Then I heard it- footsteps, out in the streets. Who would be out   
wandering this late at night? A shadow fell upon my resting   
place. I looked up from the shadows and saw... him.  
  
I gasped. In the faint lamplight, he almost looked like you. His   
blonde hair falling about his shoulders, his blue eyes piercing   
into mine. He studied me a moment and held out his hand.  
  
"Tomo."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
OWARI  
  
  
Author's Notes: So sue me. I'm experimenting a bit. Comments and   
feedback onegai!! tsukinouta@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimers: Fushigi Yuugi and its characters belong to Watase   
Yuu. Rights are also held by Flower Comics, Shogakukan, Bandai,   
TV Tokyo, Movic, Studio Pierrot; US rights by Viz Communications   
and Pioneer.  
  
No copyright infringement is intended. This story was written   
purely for the entertainment and enjoyment of other fans and I am   
not making any profit from it. I do ask, however, that my   
permission be obtained before posting this somewhere else.  
  
"Ghosts of the Past" Copyrighted © July 6, 2000 by Moonsong.  
All rights not previously claimed by the above are reserved.   
  



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